St. Valentine’s Story

Who are you Saint Valentine?

February 14th is celebrated as Valentine’s Day in honor of Saint Valentine. Valentine was a priest in 3rd century Rome which was under the cruel rule of Claudius II. Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers and he outlawed the marriage of young couples in the hope to build a strong army.

We have no idea where he got that idea from.

Claudius was also having a tough time getting young men to join his army. He suspected that men got too attached to  their lovers or families.

So he said no marriage, join the army.

The bad boy Claudius II

Not Fair!

Valentine thought this this was unfair and he chose to marry young couples secretly. One day, while marrying a young couple he was caught by soldiers and taken away. But the couple escaped. Emperor Claudius II found out about Valentine’s actions and he had the priest put to death for going against his law.

Valentine died on February 14th, 279 AD

Another story says that Valentine, while in prison, fell in love with his jailer’s daughter. Before he was put to death he sent the first ‘valentine’ himself when he wrote her a letter and signed it ‘Your Valentine’.. That’s how Valentine greetings began to be signed. Even in jail many young people visited the romantic saint. They threw flowers and notes up into his window. They wanted him to know that they too believed in love, just as he did.

Feb 14th is  a day where you express love and friendship and St. Valentine’s day is celebrated across the world by anyone who’s got a heart brimming with romance.

By the lovers, for the lovers, to the lovers. The story of love goes on , generation after generation after generation…


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Posted by on February 12, 2011 in WHO ARE YOU?



Second Wish!

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. *

The waitress asks for their orders.

The man says,“A hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”  *

”I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.  *

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. *

”That will be $9.40 please,”and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. *

The next day, the man and the ostrich come againand the man says, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke.”

The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with

exact change.  *

This becomes routine until, the two enter again.

”The usual?”asks the waitress.  *

”No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad,” says the man.  *

”Same,” says the ostrich. *

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $32.62.” *

Once again he man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and  places it on the table.  *

The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer.

“Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?” *

”Well,” says the man,”several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp.

When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and

the right amount of money would always be there.” *

*”That’s fantastic!” says the waitress.

“Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”  *

”That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a

Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.  *

The waitress asks, “But, sir, what’s with the ostrich?” *

The man sighs, pauses, and answers,

“My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs

who agrees with everything I say.”

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Posted by on February 12, 2011 in GENIE GRANTS WISHES





Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That’s so cute!

Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy looking?

Woman 1: No, it’s perfect. I’d love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I’m pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts – that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Woman 1: Oh – that’s funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.

Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.



Man 1: Haircut?

Man 2: Yeah.


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Posted by on February 11, 2011 in Funny side up



Will I Live to see 90?


An old man  went to a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests the Doc said the old guy was doing ‘fairly well for his age.
(He just turned 80.)

A little concerned about that comment, The old man couldn’t
resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 90?’
He asked, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?’
‘Oh no,’ he  replied, ‘I’m not doing drugs, either!’
Then he asked, ‘Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?’
He  said, ‘Not much… my former doctor said that all red meat
is very unhealthy!’
‘Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?’
‘No, I don’t,’ He said.
He asked, ‘Do you gamble, drive fast cars?”
‘No,’ said the ol’ guy

” Or lots of sex?”

” No.”
The Doc looked at him and said, ‘Then, why do you even give a shit?

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Posted by on February 9, 2011 in Funny side up







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Posted by on February 9, 2011 in Uncategorized



My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, ” what’s on TV ? ”

I said, ‘Dust.’

And then the fight started…

———— ——— ——— ———  ——— ——— ——— ———

My  wife was hinting about what she wanted for  our upcoming anniversary.  She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight   started…

———— ——— ——— ———  ——— ——— ——– ———

When I got home last  night, my wife demanded  that I take her someplace expensive… so, I  took her to  a gas station.

And then the fight started…

————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  —-

After retiring, I went to  the Social Security  office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind  the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify   my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very  sorry, but I would have to go  home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said,  ’That silver hair on your chest is proof enough  for me’ and she  processed my Social Security  application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security   office.

She said, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.’

And then the fight started…

————  ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———  —-

My wife and I were  sitting at table at my high  school reunion, and I kept staring at  a drunken lady  swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby  table.

My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’

‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she  took to drinking right after we  split up those many  years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober  since.’

‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘who would think a  person could go on celebrating that  long?’

And   then the fight started…

———— ——— ——— ———  ——— ——— ——— ——— —-

I took my wife to a restaurant.  The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

“I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare,   please.”

He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?””

Nah, she can order for herself.”

And then the fight started…


A  woman is  standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her  husband,
‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.’

The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near  perfect.’

And then the fight started…..

——————————————————-  ——— ——— ——

I  tried to talk my wife into buying a  case of Miller Light  for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started….

———— ——— ——— ——–  —————————————-

My wife asked me if a  certain dress made her  butt look big. I told her not as much as the  dress she  wore yesterday

and then the fight started…..

———— ——— ——— ———  —————————————–

A man and a woman were  asleep like two innocent  babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man  ‘Holy crap. That must be my husband!’

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped ou the   window. He smashed himself on the ground,

ran through a thorn  bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to  the bedroom and screamed at the woman, ‘I AM your  husband!’

The woman yelled back, ‘Yeah, then why were you running?’

And then the fight started…..


Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50   mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, ‘The weather out there is terrible.’
My loving wife of 10 years replied, ‘Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?’

And then the fight started.

———— ——— ——— ———  ——— —-

I asked my wife, “Where  do you  want to go for our anniversary? ”

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.  “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.

So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”

And that’s when the fight started….

——————————————-  ——— ——— ——— ——— —

My wife and I are  watching Who Wants To Be A  Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”

“No,” she   answered.

I then said, “Is that your final answer?”

She didn’t even look at me this time,   simply saying “Yes.”

So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And that’s when the fight started…




Posted by on February 8, 2011 in FIGHT STARTED



It’s hard to put my finger on anything. But I guess I have a vague idea by now about girls getting attracted to bad guys. Our human chemistry of love, sex and relationships is about strange animal magnetism.

Choices are wired inside and some can get real kinky when the triggers are right. One girl’s torture can be another girl’s spa therapy.

The general feeling in everyone is that girls somehow seem to get attracted to bad guys, at some stage or the other.The voices deep down everyone, seemed to be more or less the same everywhere. But the girls were  smart enough to know the difference between two switches. One called INTERESTING and the other PREFERRED

So, what is that INTERESTING stuff about bad guys?

The mystery seems to lie in the forbidden fruits dangling in the bad gardens . Rules stop fun. Breaking them is adrenalin. Now this takes a certain amount of courage and confidence.  What the girls can’t do, the bad guys can. They add boldness to a girl’s life where she excitedly joins the the adventure bandwagon.

Also, the joy in freaking out is inversely proportional to age, where the heart can sometimes get stuck at 18. Now does a girl have to be bad to like a bad guy? But then what’s that got to do with the morals of a mouse that loves the cheese in the trap anyway?

And so it’s said that the good guy ends up last in the long queue. He probably looks like a dot on the horizon behind.

And then, why is the good guy the PREFERRED switch?

What’s preferable about the good fella?

I guess there are enough sensible girls who know the difference between sensible adventure and juvenile adventurism.

They can spot a guy who’s nice, works hard to set up a home and career, cares for the woman he’s committed to and likes to provide  status, respect, security and stability for her.

He’ll keep doing that until one day a little kid comes up to him and probably says, ” Hey Grandpa, It’s Grandma’s birthday today…”

Point 2 >

Sadly, bad can be paired with masculinity. If that’s so, then is a terrorist who hides behind anonymity to hurt innocent people a real man? Surely he’s not a good guy, is he?


So, when the good guy stands in line, he could look like a lonely dot far away at the end.



I’ll look at it another way.

There are a lots of smarter and sensible girls who may not like the crowds rushing at the front. They are also at the back with him. So all they have to do is to turn around 180 degrees and change the direction of the queue.

Now back there, the bad guys will look like a dot.

Break the rule.


Posted by on February 6, 2011 in BAD BOYS ATTRACT?